I feel that this is where your energy should be going – rather than wasting too much of it worrying about how truthful your lover was.
One might look at it this way: you were married. From that point of view you were not in a position to be utterly faithful to your lover because you also had a husband.
Maybe your lover felt that it was perfectly 'fair' in that case to have someone else himself. I don't know.
People justify their actions in strange ways. And I doubt if you will ever reach into his brain and find a complete answer to this.

So, what can you do?
Well, is it going to help to have some sort of contact with this lover and to try to find out what his reasoning was? I doubt it.
You're trying to rebuild your marriage and I'm not sure how your husband would feel if he knew you were in touch with the other man – even if it didn't involve romance or sex.

But what do you need to do to put this behind you?
Well, people often find it helpful to write a letter - pouring out everything they feel – but then not sending it. Sometimes they burn it in the garden.

This signifies the end of the matter.
Another thing you might do is to have a couple of sessions – on your own – with a counsellor at Relate.
If you could talk over why the affair happened and whether or not you were ill-used and what that means, then you might feel more able to put the past behind you.
Personally I think a lot of your feelings are really about guilt that you could have hurt your husband and family.
So maybe you are channeling this guilt into feelings of hurt and disgust at your lover.
But the sad thing is that it takes two to have an affair. You are both adults. It has happened – but it's in the past.
Your future now is with your husband and I feel you must do everything possible to prove to him that you are wholeheartedly devoted to the marriage. Settling old scores with your ex-lover is not likely to help, I fear.
I know you haven't been dumped exactly, but some of the advice in the piece should help you to clear your mind of the past and to move forwards.

‘Distance’ is the one-word reason that countless couples have ended their relationships. While being in a long distance relationship can sure be tough, it does not have to take a toll on both of you.
 Here are some tips on how you can surpass the gap!!


Transparency and honesty help a relationship grow and can only happen if there is no playing and manipulation. A man and woman who are together because they want to and not because they have to, share a solid bond.

The most important to build the foundation of a stable relationship is TRUST. There should be a level of commitment between the couple even before considering a long distance relationship. Inherent mutual trust built up over time helps withstand any sort of challenges that come along. An on and  off relationship does not have the surviving power that a stable one does.

This is Difficult, why?

So simple, man is a social animal and is not used to living a solitary life. It is definitely better for a relationship if there is minimal distance. But, if both believed that they can see a future together, it is not impossible to overcome the distance. The hardest is the physical distance because it is frustrating when you want the person you love to be near or to be around you. Of course, you learn to deal with it maturely, but you always miss the person. Needs to accept the situation and should have loyalty, so that together can come up with solutions to work through even in distance. It might even be harder if the couple is not yet married.

 People have differences. Hence, while some can handle the distance situation, some cannot. It is not a question of strength or weakness, and you shouldn't tell off yourself if you find that you are the type of person who cant do it. To minimize or prevent unnecessary pain and heartache you both feel later on.

What supposed to do?

Ask yourself if you see a real future with this person in the first place before jumping into a long distance relationship. Evaluate the benefits of being with him and ask yourself if you are willing to put in the extra effort. Of course, duration of the time apart as well as the situational circumstances is a very an important role in  your both decisions.

 1. Every time I look at you, my heart misses a beat
 2. Love is, what you mean to me - and you mean everything.
 3.You are my true soul mate, no doubt to that.
 4.You bring out the best in me.
 5. Just a sight of you lifts my up spirits.
 6. You have taught me what it is to love and be loved.
 7. I can be clumsy and foolish when I am with you, yet know that your love for me will never diminish.
 8. Your smile is enough to make a my day seem so bright as sun.
 9. Being in your arms makes me feel like I can never be lost again.
10.We can talk about everything or nothing--it's always okay with you

11. I can feel your love, the way you look,'cause it touches my heart and soul
12. Because of you, no matter what may come tomorrow, today my life is more complete.
13. I just can't imagine being me without you
14.You gave meaning to my existence.
15.You are the only one who can make me smile even in my deepest sorrows.
16.I respect the faith you have in me and love you for it.
17.I get lost in the depth of your mysterious eyes.
18.You always make me feel that you are by my side no matter what
19.The way that you always look for and find the positive in everything
20.I can be myself when I am with you.