Have Make-up Sex without the Break-up, How to do it?

There’s no sexual high as amazing as the passionate, emotionally charged lovemaking you have after a big row. But it is possible to recreate those feelings without tempers flaring. There probably isn’t a woman anywhere who hasn’t the high of break- up’ sex.

 You’ve just had a screaming row with your boyfriend who has left you shaken, hoarse and tearful. After the argument, you both say sorry and, before you know it, a comforting cuddle turns into a passionate kiss, which, in turn, leads to fantastic, loving sex. You have an orgasm so intense that, as you lie there afterwards, sexually satisfied and more in love than ever, a voice at the back of your mind saying, ‘wish it could be like that every time.’ So, a week later, you pick another fight- it’s traumatic but you know what it will lead to will be so delicious, you can’t resist.

To get the kind of sex you want, you need to recreate the emotional intensity that, until now, you’ve only achieved after confrontation. It is possible, says psycho sexual therapist Paula Hall of Relate, a relationship counseling service, but you have to do your emotional homework first. “You need to bring out protective, passionate feelings in each other. Make-up sex is about reinforcing the fact that you’re in love, but there are other ways to do that.”

One of the attractions of post-argument sex is the risk factor: Emotions are high and you both feel exposed and vulnerable. Capture these butterflies-in- your- tummy by sharing fantastic and erotic talk. “Fantasies are, by definition, thrilling. By sharing them, we can live on the edge of our sexual boundaries without crossing them and hurting our partner.

And, if you’re still feeling there’s certain edge lacking, have fun with the pillow fight- it’s physically harm. If a pillow fight doesn’t appeal to you, gets your adrenalin high by renting a scary video or going wall climbing. No, really. Anything that increases your adrenalin levels will lead to great sex.

The way you make you love is as important as the mood you’re in. “Post-argument sex is very different from day-to-day’ lovemaking,’ “It’s hungrier, more urgent and original. We’re using our bodies to express what we can’t say and undo the words we did. So kisses tend to be deeper, there’s more skin-to-skin contact and we use our entire bodies to make love to each other.”