Be sure you’re saying what you really mean

If the person says “I Love you” can’t quite define the shading of those words, then how many interpretations can the person hearing them make?

Suppose your partner is eating a super-sized burger and fries. You make a nasty comment, but you’re not trying to be nasty. You’re trying to say, “I love you and I don’t want you to die from clogged arteries so I have to live the rest of my life without you.” But does your partner the real meaning? Or does your partner just think you’re being nasty?

You could have said, “I love you and I don’t want you to die, so please don’t finish all those fries.” But you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t want to sound trite. After all, it you say “I love you” enough times, it can dilute the strength of those words. Or maybe you were feeling anger as well as love. Anger can be so strong that it overwhelmed love, but while anger will dissolve, the love will always remain. So if the comments you make really are statements of love, even if the person doesn’t realize it…ever.

So how do you say” I love you” when you’re angry? Or hurt? Or sad?

The trick is to first take deep breath, you give yourself time to regain your self-control. Maybe you’ll find a different way of saying what you feel or maybe you’ll decide not to say at all-at least not while you’re angry.

TIPS:

I often realize not to talk bedroom issues in the bedroom. The same applies for other issues that may cause a strong emotional reaction, such as raising the issue of what foods to eat in a restaurant when the person is starving and surrounded by the sights and smells of food. In that situation, allow your partner to order what be or she wants, and then have that talk with them at another time.