It’s okay to have a few secrets

It’s okay to have a few secrets

There’s nothing wrong with having secrets. Your fantasies may be better left unexplored. Once revealed they may cause jealousy. Locked away they can’t do any harm. But too many secrets may create walls that block the feelings you may you meant to share. The trick is deciding what to reveal and what to keep behind the evil.

Have you given you lover an all-access pass to your past? Or are there areas remain off-limits?

If a revelation will, make you uncomfortable, then your partner may feel the same. Since you don’t want to cause pain, maybe that secret should remain hidden. This is particularly true when it comes to information about former partners. What you did in private with anyone else probably should remain private. Jealousy can be a hard beast to master, but particularly so when it’s being well-fed-by images dragged up from the past.

But if you’re hiding information to maintain control, then your love, too, is being held back. You want your partner to know who is he or she loves. If you keep almost everything about your past and many things about your present, too, off-limits, then you’re asking someone to love only your shadow and not the real you.

The dividing line can be gloomy and deciding what to reveal difficult. Look into your heart to find the answer. Then make sure you follow its directions.

TIPS:

Before you reveal a secret, put yourself in the place of the person to whom you are about to offer it. See if you can feel how they will react. If you think that person will be hurt, then stop those words right in their tracks.